Pets and Why You Apparently Can’t Eat Them

Boy and girl with puppy

In the time I have lived upon this planet, I have discovered a peculiar phenomenon observed by many of those who walk upon the Earth’s surface: They keep animals in their places of residence for no justifiable reason.

This is not to say that I cannot see any reason to keep an animal around. If the animal can provide you with food or labor, then it would boggle the mind why one would not wish to keep these animals close so as to be able to make the best use of them. However, this is not the intent that humans have when allowing these certain animals, these “pets”, to live among them.

When I first discovered this, I speculated that perhaps these humans were merely using these animals as a peculiar form of decor, as they have the tendency to place many things one might think of as trash in strategic places around their home for the purpose of making it look as though someone lives there. But when asked if this is why they keep animals, they adamantly deny it. When asked the same question about plants, however, they frequently admit that they do indeed use these for the purposes of decor. So it seems that lifeforms that don’t move are acceptable decorative items, but lifeforms that do move are not. This was interesting. My investigation continued.

As I continued to ask around, I did unlock one possible exception to the animal decor rule. If it was a container filled with water and plants that also happened to house a few fish, then they may consider that a decoration. I assume it must be the plants that tip this particular animal in favor of being used as decor, because I can see no other reason for it.

When asked if they would ever consider eating their resident animals if times were to get sufficiently difficult, most humans panicked and then slammed the door in my face as though afraid I was there to eat their animal on their behalf. But I am not in the business of stealing another’s food, if that is indeed the purpose of allowing the creature to live among them. I can only assume that this must be a regular problem for them to fear it so.

As it stands at present, I still fail to understand what is the exact purpose of these animals if they are not meant for food, labor, or decor. The best answers I have gotten out of anyone thus far are:

  • We like them
  • They make me feel less lonely
  • They’re fun
  • I enjoy animals
  • I can’t live without my pet
  • How stupid are you if you don’t even understand pets?

All the answers I’ve received thus far have been disappointingly vague, and thus I continue my quest to understand this phenomenon.

Does anyone have a decent explanation for why they allow these animals to live among them? Please explain in the comments and you may find that your words have created a very relieved alien who no longer has to be baffled by this.

1 thought on “Pets and Why You Apparently Can’t Eat Them”

  1. People seem to think of pets as being people. Which they really aren’t, but the role a pet fills as someone’s companion is person like, and each pet is unique, just as each person is unique. You wouldn’t kill and replace your best friend every week. That would be inefficient for the purposes of friendship, and very creepy. People don’t want to do anything similar to their pets.
    Me, I like pets because they don’t demand any sort of social energy. But I also think of my houseplant as a pet, so my perspective may not be an accurate representation of things.


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